At 33, bipolar disorder cost me everything. Here’s what rebuilding looks like – CBC

Mania cost me my engagement, many relationships and time with my children

Jun 08, 2026

Last year, on Victoria Day, I hit send on my resignation letter.

I’d spent the long weekend drafting the letter to resign from a job I loved but had become convinced was wrong. By Monday, it felt less like quitting and more like an act of public service.

What I didn’t know at the time was that something was brewing inside me. I would later understand that I had bipolar I, a serious mental illness marked by extreme mood swings ― from the highs of mania to the lows of depression ― and, in my case, with psychotic features.

For me, mania felt like acceleration. Thoughts linking at high speed. Everything becoming inevitable. I paced through the night writing essays about politics, morality and national integrity.

I became convinced I had found a fracture inside the organization where I worked as a senior policy analyst. There was only one truth, and I believed I was the only one seeing it. Everyone else was distorting it. I wrote as if I’d been appointed to defend reality itself. When I reread the letter, I felt proud. When I pressed send, I felt righteous.

Read more: https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/bipolar-first-person-ottawa-9.7170543